Day 24: A Stony Eagle Spotted

 

Sometimes it´s all about timing. And paying attention. I just happened to look up the other day, and I saw an eagle! He was made of stone, but still. Madrid is a great city for stone animal spotting. There is a whole zoo out there just waiting to be discovered, including a tiny stone squirrel. I think a fun travel game would be to make a list of animals and see who can find the most. It would definitely keep kids (and fussy adults!) walking longer!

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Mum Abroad 8: The Urge to Splurge

Tiny shoes, tiny pajamas, tiny sweaters, tiny pairs of jeans - baby things are cute, and we haven't even gotten to the books, toys and paraphernalia for sale, not to mention the guilt-tripping advertising techniques - You need these CDs or your baby will never appreciate art! You must get this brand of bottle sterilizer or the baby will get leprosy! If you don't buy this special soft toy, the baby will feel neglected and won't be able to bond properly!

Like any specialty marketing (flashback to the wedding!), sellers take advantage of perceived need, the buyer's lack of knowledge and experience with the products, and the fairly short timeline, jacking up prices (why do tiny socks and sweaters cost the same as adult socks and jackets, or sometimes more? Pretty sure elves and fairies didn't make them, so what's with the premium?). It can get so expensive so fast, and it's just not necessary. I want our pre-baby time to be positive, filled with fun planning for baby, not worrying about the bill. I'd rather have extra cash to travel and do things when Baby is here.

On the other hand, babies do need some special, specific things. I want to be prepared, and of course it's fun to shop for Baby, so the trick is finding the Baby Bear Balance - not too much, not too little, but just right. And just how are we doing that? By making smart decisions. Here are my top five tips for spreading your euro/dollar/dough/ the farthest: 


Make a List, Check it Twice

First of all, I made a list of baby things - dream items, necessary items, and things I didn't know too much about. Then I read a bunch of mom blogs and parenting books (here's my favourite list, a little extreme, but it does prove a point) and went through my list again, taking off things we don't need at all and prioritizing what we do want to get with a timeline of when we need it. We did get a crib ahead of time, although Baby will be sleeping next to us at first, to avoid the hassle of picking it up and putting it together later on (we don't want to be those people who make Baby suffer through a three hour trip to Ikea). We're holding off on a high chair and umbrella stroller until we need them, and we're not getting a toddler-sized bed at all, since we already have a single bed that will work perfectly after Baby outgrows the bassinet and crib. In fact, it's in Baby's room right now, a place to crash during particularly fussy nights. 

tall guy's bassinet, recovered. i can't believe he used to fit in here!

Sentimental Value

My mom gave me a few special receiving blankets, outfits, books, and toys from when I was a baby. While it's nice to have new things, it's nice to have a few things that were special to me in the past to share with my own baby. We also have some of Tall Guy's special toys and clothes. It's nice to be able to pass on some memories.

Just don't feel pressured to use older things - an old crib might not meet today's safety standards, or maybe there's an outfit you really don't like. That's okay - it's your baby.

some of my childhood toys for baby

Go for Seconds

With the ongoing economic crisis, Spaniards are becoming more open to second-hand shopping. Still, there are not a lot of shops around, so the best bet is to check online (sites such as segundamando.es are good). There are several Facebook groups of mums in Madrid that focus on baby and child items, and I've managed to get a lot of things second-hand through them. Easy on the pocketbook and the environment, as well as more practical, since many things will only be used a few times! It has also been a great way to connect with other mums in the city – I have met some truly lovely women. My Facebook groups are:

• Mama Trato Madrid - a Spanish group dedicated to buying, selling, trading and sometimes just giving away baby and childhood items in the Madrid area
• Mom and Baby Madrid - buying/selling, but also classes, meetups and other special events, mainly for foreigners living in the city
• Girl Gone International Madrid - a group for foreign women living in Madrid, not focused on babies or parenthood but still some buying/selling, mostly furniture, and special events

Renew and Reuse

Hand in hand with sentimental value and second-hand shopping, updating and reusing things is a great way to cut down on costs. Older, second-hand items don't have to look dated or conflict with your taste. We had Tall Guy's bassinet recovered in a fabric we both like, and we had matching cushions made for his Grandmother's rocking chair. The fabric was on sale for 4 euro a meter (Madrid people, check out Calle Pontejos near Plaza del Sol and Plaza Mayor for great fabric and notions shops) and updating both items cost way less than purchasing new. We also didn't even see any new rocking chairs that a) we liked or b) had backs high enough for our heads, so this was the best as well as most sentimental way to go.

a new crib and bookshelf, an old rocking chair and blanket

Do the Research

Tall Guy loves technology, and a good baby monitor was important to him. He compared brands and researched price points for quite some time before we finally made the purchase (we went with a D-link DCS 942L, not specific for babies, but it has all the features Tall Guy deemed important, including remote monitoring from a mobile device and voice command).

This is true for all of our big purchases - we looked around a lot, read heaps of reviews (sometimes frustrating, because it's easy to get sucked in to wanting things "right now!") and made sure to get the products that suited us best at the best price we could find, taking into account warranties and delivery fees (as always, the cheapest advertised price is not necessarily the best deal). The bigger the ticket on the item, the more research we did. 

The best example of research paying off is our stroller. My mom suggested starting early (we went in October!), and we soon realized we had a problem - Tall Guy and I are, well, tall, and many strollers are too short for us! On the first day of looking, we came across the stroller with, supposedly, the tallest push bar on the market. We checked out a lot of models, brands, and reviews, and it's true! Even within the brand (Jane), our model is the tallest. It's cute, good quality, Spanish-made, and we won't ruin our backs or trip over the axles while using it. Who would ever have guessed that a Spanish stroller would have the tallest push bar? Research. Do it!

Mum Abroad 6: The Clothes Horse

I like clothes, I like shopping, and I like looking nice. Surprise!

a long blouse and big hair

When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately wanted to buy some maternity outfits. Fail! High prices and poor selection for my tall self in Madrid swung me in the other direction, hoping somehow I'd magically make it through nine months in my own jeans. In the end, I've settled in the middle - maternity wear mixed with my own clothes and accessories. Here are my tips and resources for maternity fashion in Madrid:

1) Build a good foundation.

For undergarments, El Corte Ingles has a decent selection. Their brand of maternity compression tights feel good, but they are expensive for the quality. You can get compression tights or socks of higher quality for a similar price in most pharmacies (they may need to order them in, but it usually only takes a day or two). I haven't had any feet or ankle swelling, but I'm on my feet a lot for work, and compression tights and socks help keep my circulation going and fatigue at bay.

H&M has a surprisingly decent size range, but be aware that not all stores in Madrid have a maternity department. There are more items online than in stores, and, annoyingly, you have to pay for shipping and returns (the Gap has free shipping for maternity wear - an appreciated courtesy as they don't have maternity wear in stores). My favourite H&M store locations are the flagship store on Gran Via and the Principe Pio shopping centre.

If you're having trouble with sizes, try Dama de Copas near Goya, where a professional fitting and attentive customer service come at a reasonable price.

2) Pick a maternity fashion role model.

my bow belt worn up high, a la kate

Not sure of what to wear? I find it helpful to have a fashion reference. In my case, I have two tall fashionable women to look to for ideas - Laura at All the Tall Things, and Kate Middleton. Laura has been a fashion reference of mine for a number of years. Her genius website tracks down tall fashion in regular stores as well as specialty tall shops. She documented her maternity shopping and fashion experience to share with other Tall Girls, who in turn shared their tips and tricks.  Jackpot!

It's also very handy that Kate Middleton is pregnant and due just before me. She's also tall, and I like her style. She's been working in a lot of non-maternity wear, and doing a very nice job with accessories. I've followed her lead with belts at the empire line (in Spain it's more common to wear belts under the bump, but this style does not look good on me at all - I feel like I should be entering a weight-lifting competition or wrestling match), skirts and tops, and a streamlined, tailored look rather than flowing and billowing (which is also a style better suited to shorter people. With a very tall person, there is just so much fabric!).

3) Wear your own clothes for as long as possible. Then put them away.

my sweater, new maternity pants

"As long as possible" means as long as they fit comfortably and you feel good in them. Leggings, long tops, cardigans, sweaters, maxi skirts and stretchy dresses are things that might just make it with you through the nine months. I've just started the third trimester, and can still wear about half of my jeans. Advantages of wearing  your own clothes: you won't get bored with a smaller maternity wardrobe, or frustrated shopping for things, and you'll save money.

Bursting out of a top, or can't do up your jeans? Time to say goodbye. I pack away items of clothes as they no longer fit, so I know I'll fit into - and feel good in - whatever is in my closet. I'll also have a little renaissance with my clothes when I'm able to wear them again! 

4) Shop wisely.

When my mom came to visit, we went on a little maternity spree - it was fun, and it was great to have things on hand so I wasn't not stuck wearing anything that was too tight. We had good luck at H&M, where I got a wrap dress (essential!), some tops, and a pair of black skinny mama jeans. We tried to pick out items that would last for more than one season and were designed with feeding in mind. I chose mostly neutral colours that I can dress up with accessories, and items that suit my own personal style so I will still feel like myself.

There is a surprisingly small selection of maternity wear in El Corte Ingles department stores, where I found one model of jeans that were long enough. However, no one I know is happy with anything denim in this brand (Alia). Having re-sewn almost all of the seams in the jersey belly panel, I don't recommend them either.

My best bet, because I'm taller than the average Spaniard, is online shopping from the UK. Fits for taller sizes are readily available, and price and shipping are even often cheaper than purchasing items here (plus, no duty, which would have to be paid for goods shipped from North America). I highly recommend the brand Mamalicious, and I got a great denim skirt that is not scandalously short from   Dorothy Perkins.

I also recommend going second-hand. For me, maternity clothes are not "investment pieces" that I'm going to be wearing for years, and with all the other baby-related expenses, I'd rather not break the bank on clothes. I picked up a lovely pair of dress pants at a "living room sale" (Madrid yard sale) I found out about from the Madrid Mom Facebook group, and a tall friend generously gave me a pile of tops and dresses.

5) Treat your feet.

a fitted coat with room for the bump

Good, supportive footwear goes a long way toward preventing back injuries and discomfort, and are especially important during pregnancy. I'm on my feet most of the day in the classroom, so I really appreciate the extra support. It's also an area where a splurge lasts for more than nine months!

I needed to replace a pair of black boots this year, and while I loved a fitted, knee-high pair with three inch heels, I kept looking and found a loser, flatter style I also love. They are stylish and I can wear them all day. I ordered them from Long Tall Sally, whose European site ships to Spain (I often shop their UK site though, which often has better sales and shipping costs are about the same. The Canadian site has the best footwear selection, so I'll order from there if I know someone's coming over for a visit.).

I also replaced a pair of walking shoes, had my athletic insoles checked, and bought some new gel insoles for extra cushioning in very flat shoes. The shoes are from El Corte Ingles - it's a limited selection of women's footwear in larger sizes, but all very nice quality.

Finally, I picked up a pair of sparkly ballet flats, also from Dorothy Perkins. They are not supportive, and I doubt they'll last more than a year or two, but they are super-cute, and sometimes you just need a treat!

Essential Maternity Clothing List

If you get nothing else, you'll be good to go with:

• maternity undergarments (compression tights are like a massage for your legs and feet!)
• a wrap dress (this can be worn for the full nine months and beyond)
• jeggings (you might get away with wearing your own the whole time!)
• tunics or longer tops and sweaters (great for pairing with the jeggings!)
• supportive footwear (your body will thank you)
• your own accessories (right now I'm into huge, colourful scarves)

Are you in the Madrid area? Let me know if you've found anywhere else to buy great maternity things!

Mum Abroad 4: The YouTube Roundup

Prenatal exercise. Fun, right? Especially on those mornings your head is spinning like a top, or the days you're more bloated than a Zeppelin. But, when I stick to my routine, I feel better, and I know it's good for Baby as well.

The pool by our house closed (boo!), the local gym with a new pool has a waiting list of 9000 to get in (!!), and I'm not keen on city biking with Baby. I do walk for at least 45 minutes each day, which is a great way to maintain fitness and get fresh air at the same time, but I'm also trying to develop muscles and postures to help with birth and taking care of Baby. I do daily squats and cat-cow stretches, but let's be honest - they're not really fun.

read about the benefits of exercise during pregnancy here

Fortunately, there's Youtube. I can exercise in English! At home! With only a few pieces of equipment! I've found some gentle yoga videos I can use that actually help me feel better, and a series of 10 minute pilates and 20 minute cardio workouts I can use individually or combine when I'm feeling good. I've created a playlist with the videos I like and use so I don't have to go back and find them all the time.

It's important to make sure you enjoy the workouts you choose, and that they are appropriate for your stage/condition in pregnancy and match your pre-pregnancy fitness level. Since I was pretty fit before Baby, the only activities I'm used to doing regularly but am currently banned from are flamenco dancing (high heels and arms overhead for long periods of time), and skiing (for the fall factor). I'm also husband- and self- banned from biking in Madrid: It's unlikely I'd fall, but there is too much traffic and not enough respect for bike lanes in this city. I've also cut out running. With all the extra blood pumping around, I find I feel breathless quite quickly, and get frustrated instead of enjoying the exercise.

My doctor is very happy I'm staying active, and also that I pay attention and rest or stop altogether when I feel I need to. Apart from walking, I try for three cardio and three other workouts a week, including one studio yoga class, but I'm not a slave to a schedule. I do what works for me. I chose my videos (below) based on enjoyment of the exercise, (lack of) equipment needed, pregnant instructor, tone of voice, length, and background music.

Yoga videos:
I like Katy Appleton's 10 minute pregnancy series. She has trimester-specific workouts, but all postures are safe throughout pregnancy and postpartum. She explains how the body changes during pregnancy and how that effects exercise. It's also encouraging that Katy herself is pregnant in the videos, plus her studio is gorgeous and light-filled. A great watch.

For a longer routine, which I usually do at night before bed, I like Liza Janda's 25 minute video from YogaDownloads. Her voice is very relaxing, the postures are very clear and the modifications are straightforward.

When I do a shorter yoga video, I like to add on this prenatal meditation session as a change from my hypno-birthing CD.

Pilates:

I use one series, and that's Lizbeth Garcia's 10-minute Prenatal Pilates. There are 5 workouts focusing on different areas which can be done or mixed and matched (for example, I skip the stretching one since I prefer yoga postures). Lizbeth is near the end of her pregnancy in these videos, so I know I can do it at my stage, too! If I were at home, I would definitely get this DVD, but as I'm in Spain, it doesn't work in my zone.

Cardio:

I have a love-hate relationship with Denise Austin's Prenatal Cardio workout. On the one hand, it's Denise Austin, who knows what she's talking about. On the other, she's not pregnant in the video (although she has a bump posse working out behind her), she's very chipper and she has a very strong accent (sorry Denise - you really are great but sometimes I just like a quieter, softer voice encouraging me). Also, there are three simple routines, and as a dance/music aficionado, I like more variety.

I'm glad to have discovered JessicaSmithTV and the 20 minute cardio workout she designed for her pregnant sister, which they do in their living room. A home-workout for working out at home. Genius. Both of these ladies trained as modern dancers, so there's more variety in this routine. Jessica has a great website, too, with quick five-minute workouts for targeted areas.  She's a wellness coach as well as fitness trainer, and I like that her videos are about feeling good as well as looking good.

Both Denise and Jessica have pre and post natal strength training workouts, but I haven't used them regularly enough to comment either way. (I just love Lizbeth's pilates too much!)

Equipment (which you probably already have, hooray!)

• good workout shoes (for walking, and for cardio videos if you need more support)
• a comfortable workout wardrobe
• yoga mat (don't substitute a blanket - it could slip on the floor and cause you to fall)
• pillows, blankets, and/or yoga blocks
• small hand weights or canned vegetables 
• water bottle (I keep lemon water with a pinch of Himalaya salt within reach to stay hydrated) 
• full length mirror or reflective surface (optional, but useful for checking for proper alignment - I use the glass doors on our curio cabinet!) 
• exercise ball - for some yoga positions and to sit on, as it will help align your pelvis and strengthen your legs and core

*tip: test out your workout space before you get really into it, so you don't end up slamming your arm into the bookcase or kicking over the coffee table...

Destroy it Yourself: Pack it up, pack it in

When my aunt and uncle renovated their house, they moved their stuff into the basement. When my dad and step mom worked on their place, they hadn't moved in yet. And when my friend's rental place was redone, she moved into another unit. Clothes, kitchen goods, electronics, books, furniture, all must be packed away for the duration of the project. So what do you do in a flat?

 

1) Sort through your stuff. Now is a good time to donate clothes you don't wear, books you're not going to reread, and any extra stuff you don't use. Go through papers for filing or destroying, and be honest when deciding which things stay. I asked myself the following questions:

• Do I need it? Or, do I need three of it? While I have never had an emergency requiring more three ladles, I can't be sure how I would react, but I only kept one anyway. I like to live on the wild side...
• Do I use it? Have I used it (worn it) in the last year? For clothes, I also make sure they fit and I'd be happy wearing them in public. It's amazing how much the "public" part of that helps make decisions. We said goodbye to a heap of Tall Guy's (old and sad) t-shirts and also ditched a bunch of (really sad) socks.
• Does it have sentimental value? My mom gave me a good tip for this one - take a picture and move on. A case in point - stuffed animals. Unless you vacuum pack them, which means you're definitely not using them or even looking at them, they take up a lot of space. Keep a snapshot and memories as a souvenir and pass on the toys so someone else can play.

2) Pack in suitcases and boxes of the same size. Our off-season clothes are being stored in suitcases at Spanish Aunt's place. Easy to move and easy to pop into a closet or under a bed. Clothes we're using are in suitcases under our bed at our in-laws, where we are staying until the renovation is done. Boxes that are the same size are easier to stack and store (keep reading).



3) Use the space you have. We wiggled and jiggled and jammed and piled, but our dining room set and appliances now all fit on the terrace. They're wrapped up and will be just fine. Our building has a small amount of shared basement storage, which is where we've put larger items we're trying to get rid of (anyone want an coat rack exercise bike?). If you're using shared storage space, make sure you label your things and organize them safely so no one has to scale a mountain of boxes to get to their own things. Finally, we have two built-in closets that are staying as they are. They are filled with boxes and sealed off with plastic.


4) Make a list and check it twice. This way you'll know where everything is. It's not the most thrilling task, but listing and labeling is a lot better than having a panic attack and dumping out eight boxes before realizing your passport was in your desk drawer all along...

Destroy it Yourself: Stop. Sign.

We were both ready to rip this place up from the day we moved in, starting with the bathroom:

Drainage problems, no storage, a painted bathtub (little bits stick to your feet when the water is really hot, so we didn't even try sitting down in there), humidity in the closet in the next room...

And then the old-school kitchen, built in a time when live-in maids did all your cooking and you did all your eating at a fancy dining room table. We don't have a live-in maid and we are more kitchen-eaters than formal-diners. The layout was just not practical, and while the oven still worked, I was keen on one that had more temperatures than hot and super-hot and that did not leave cakes and bread crisp on the outside and gooey on the inside. Yum.

So we started saving, collecting ideas, pinning pictures, reading home magazines, and making an awful lot of trips to Ikea and the hardware depot. We also started gathering professional opinions and quotes.

As we started our research, we were alerted to two issues. Firstly, this was going to be a major job: Electric and plumbing needed to be replaced throughout the flat. Yikes! Secondly, we hadn't lived there yet, so we couldn't really say exactly what we needed and wanted. Time to pick out a contractor.

I knew our guy was "the one" from the moment I laid eyes on his office door. The handles were letters, an H and a C. Could it be any more obvious? Apparently it could be, because I had to explain it to Tall Guy,

"Those are the initials of our surnames!" I cried, "We have to hire him!"

Tall Guy, ever practical, thought we should hear what he had to say first, check up on his reputation, visit some of his job sites, and see if the price was right. I wasn't worried, I knew it would work out, and it did - HC start construction in a few days!

Our advice for finding a contractor (in Madrid or anywhere, I guess!) is, firstly, unless you're doing the whole project by yourself, use a contractor! Trying to coordinate everyone is extremely difficult, especially in Spain. Oh, Spain, the land of vague appointment times, where "soon" can mean anything from actually "soon" to "six days later" to "when I get around to it". USE A CONTRACTOR. It does not have to be more expensive. We are in fact saving money and cutting down on time.

Second, use someone who is licenced to do the work. Especially if you're in a flat, you'll probably need permission to move walls or add bathrooms, etc. I for one do not plan to waste hours or possibly days of my life shuffling around the town hall trying to get paperwork signed. Been there, done that, not going back. It would also really not be good to put in a toilet only to find that it's leaking into your downstairs neighbour's living room, because you read your house plan wrong and connected it to the wrong drainage tube.

Third, try to know what you're talking about. Tall Guy did a lot of research, for which I am especially grateful. I have no interest in what type of cable the stove needs to function properly and safely, and maybe Tall Guy doesn't either, but he found out and it pays to know these things. There's a Spanish saying, lo barato sale caro - cheap things get expensive. One guy suggested cutting costs by using cables not thick enough according to the building code. Adios, amigo - we don't want electrical problems!

Fourth, check references, but go with your gut. Signs, instincts, these feelings happen for a reason. If someone feels right or wrong, take that into consideration. Check into them, of course - visit places they've worked on, check up on finishing times and budgets, but don't feel bad for not hiring someone because they looked good on paper but you still had a bad feeling. Better spend more time meeting contractors than worrying about the work they're doing in your home.

Fifth, personality. Our guy is very friendly and hard-working. He's up on design and building trends, and while sometimes his ideas are a little too modern for our tastes, it's good to know he's in the loop. He tells us when he thinks our ideas won't work and suggests ways to improve them. 

Christmas in Madrid

See: A tree decorated with more love than ornaments. Charlie Brown would approve. (Ahem, but watch out, tree - next year my decos from Canada will be here and you will be covered!)

Hear: a cacophony of loud voices all talking at once,  cutlery on plates, the dog from downstairs, water ticking through the radiator,  clinking glasses, Micheal Buble's Christmas CD, and the same from the neighbours, although they are playing different music. Oh, and a truck idling outside. Madrid is not the second-loudest city in the world for nothing!

Smell: my fabulous, fabulous, brag-worthy turkey. Roasted upside down to keep it juicy, stuffed with chestnut and apple stuffing, served with gravy and damson port sauce, thank you very much!
 



check out my new apron! 

Taste: Almonds. In the almond-apricot-pine nut cake. Mmmmm.... 

Feel: Christmasy. Which is to say, happy, a little too warm, tired, full, and ready to watch Charlie Brown one more time.

10 Tips for a Successful Long Weekend in the Country

Tall Guy and I had four days off. Two extra days tacked on to the weekend. We went to the country house, and it was lovely. I'm even getting the hang of what to pack, and I'm catching on to the ways of local life.

You see, you can't just go to the country and expect to fit in with the locals, immediately finding a simple life of relaxation. There's no point in just trying to wing it, especially in Spain. Here's what you do:

First, you need to pack a down-filled vest. Preferably hunter green or navy blue, and it helps if you've got a matching rain hat. It doesn't matter what season it is; this is part of the country uniform. You will wear your hat rain or no rain, and if you've got knee-high rubber boots (also matching, obviously), so much the better. In fact, the more you can dress like a Tyrolean mountaineer, the better.

Then, you'll need to make sure you've got your pearl earrings in. This is the country but we're not animals!

Now that your wardrobe is taken care of, it's on to leisure time:

Take a stack of books and some knitting or crochet, but don't plan on touching them. You need them to decorate the coffee table while you spend hours lounging in front of a roaring fire. Seeing your pile of undone projects will remind you that you are savouring your time doing absolutely nothing other than being mesmerised by the flames. This is not wasting time: you are being in the moment.

Sleep in. When the church bells wake you, go back to sleep, or at least languish in bed, listening to them count off time until at least 11. Then you can get up, since you'll have taken advantage of the dark and relatively quiet night to get caught up on your rest.

Dress in your mountain gear and go to the back garden for a log or two to throw on the fire. Do you have a special basket for collecting wood? Maybe you could borrow one...

Now it's time to check on the livestock, which you mustn't, under any circumstance, name! Without fail, this morning's Snowy will be this afternoon's stew.

Take advantage of the Spanish tradition of "sobremesa". This means "over the table" and implies spending hours over meals that start and end with wine and cheese. Somewhere in the middle will be a great stew, thanks to Snowy, crusty bread, coffee, and chocolates. (I secretly think it's called sobremesa because you eat until you are so full you just tip over right on to the table...)

You may also get the chance to entertain, so be prepared:

Have on hand your own sausage, made from your own organic, grass-fed livestock, some local cheese, olives, wine and of course a leg of ham. If company comes before their morning hunting excursion, don't worry, it's never too early for ham in Spain, but instead of wine, provide your guests with coffee and anise.

If you're not into hunting, learn! Or at least learn to forage. Finding your own food is an invaluable life skill. Anyway, you could take your guests for a walk on your land to forage for wild mushrooms and asparagus. The fresh air and sunshine will do you all good, and your shepherd can show you which varieties are poisonous. If he doesn't, you can always spice things up by turning the luncheon into a kind of Russian roulette.

Finally, remember that this is quality time: you are getting to know your new compatriots and in some cases, your new family. Talk and make connections through the littlest things; a gifted plant cutting, a city you both know. Go for a night walk through the fields with your husband and remember just how many stars there are. Take a deep breath of fresh country air and thank God for long weekends.

Don't drink that!

One of the things I miss most about my childhood home is the garden. We have a huge yard, heaps of flower beds and a large vegetable garden. One summer I entered the Junior Horticultural Society's garden competition, and with the help of my dad, I grew a cornucopia of vegetables and heaps of flowers.

 

We always had a compost barrel in the yard, and my dad taught me that there's nothing a plant likes more than a little care and a large scoop of compost. Giving plants your leftovers is also a great way to cut down on garbage.

 

In our flat, we don't have a yard, but I do have a balcony garden. It's not very big yet, but the plants I do have are very well-fed.

 

You can make "liquid compost" in the Vitamix very easily - just set aside any fruit or vegetable peel, cores, ends, bits that have gone bad, even eggshells, and at the end of the day, throw them in the Vitamix with a little bit of water and blend on 10-high until smooth. Then, pour into your garden and mix into the dirt. You could just mix the food right into your garden, but that look isn't too attractive, and it's likely you will attract small, unwanted guests. 



That's a smoothie alright, but it's not for you! Pour it in your garden and your plants will love you.

 

Blah.

Sometimes you don’t feel well. Your throat is scratchy, your head hurts and you do not want to eat anything. Your boss’s voice grates, it’s too cold at your desk, and the smell of your colleague’s soup makes you want to hurl.

It’s time to go home and rest, my friend.

 

Put on your pyjamas and some slippers, grab a box of tissues and set up camp on the couch, preferably with a movie you’ve seen dozens of times or some kind of home renovation show marathon, so you can easily drift in and out of sleep.

When you’re thirsty, throw a couple of lemons (take off the skin or it will be extra bitter), a small piece of ginger and a spoonful of honey into the Vita-mix. Add three or four cups of water and blend away.

 

Heat it up or drink as-is, and the hit of Vitamin-C and head-clearing, stomach-calming ginger will have you feeling better before Maria and the Von Trapps have escaped to the safety of the mountains.

How to have a fabulous, zilla-free wedding

Remember when I said the wedding wouldn´t be stressful? And how I had some really good advice about delegating? Both were true - it was a really great day. No staying up until the wee hours decorating the church, and no running around trying to find a pen for the guest book. 

Below are my tips for a fabulous day (no guarantees it will be as fabulous as mine was... Are you married? I hope you feel the same way about your wedding!).

1. Spread it out. After we got engaged, we made "The Spanish-Canadian Wedding Merger Document". This crazy spreadsheet details cultural and family traditions and expectations. I would suggest doing this even if you´re from the same country. Or town. Knowing what the other was expecting helped the planning go smoothly: In Tall Guy´s case, I had no idea 30 canapes per person was the norm in Spain. He had no idea about programmes. (In the end, we went with nine canapes and bilingual programmes. Win-win).

2. You can plan a wedding without themes and colours. I didn´t choose either, and it was all ok, despite what the reception-planner implied - no, the world did not end because I didn´t know my "colours" seven months in advance. The bridesmaids choose their dresses (lavender), which gave me the colour scheme - lavender and ivory, and the theme (garden party) just sort of happened - we used a lot of flowers, lanterns, birds and bunting to decorate.

3. Make stuff, but not too much. 

• I made the bunting. Twice, actually. It´s bilingual - on one side it says "congratulations" and on the other, "felicidades". The first time it said "congratulations" and "sedadicilef". Welcome to the family, Tall Guy - sedadicilef! Nice.
• My mom and I made pew bows fascinators from Dollarama flowers and ribbon.
• My mom made the cake topper. Isn´t it grand?

• My mom, Sailor Girl (the best maid of honour in the world) and I made the favours - mini macaroons and brownies, my fave and Tall Guy´s fave.
• Music Man designed the programmes, also bilingual. 
• We made a seating chart using an old frame that was a steal at $2 from a Sally Ann shop.
• I jazzed up my shoes. Sorry, boring white shoes are just not me. I needed some bling, and this post inspired me. 

That´s it. Don´t make too many things. Make enough things so you feel you participated in your own wedding, and added your own touch, but not too many that you go crazy the night before the wedding painting faces on tiny ceramic statues of the two of you that for some reason you thought would be a good favour.

4. Do not give out tiny ceramic statues of the two of you as a favour, even if you painted them yourself.

5. Go with your gut feeling. If you want something that is not on-trend, and you don´t want something everyone else is doing, do what you want! I wanted purple carnations for the bouquets and decorations. Carnations are the flower of Spain, and I like them. And I wanted purple. Do I care that all the girls who have purple dresses have green flowers? Not a whit. Somehow, I ended up ordering green flowers. And then I thought, no. I really do not want green flowers. So I went back and ordered purple. And as you can see, they were gorgeous, and they were the right choice for us. Tall Guy was touched that I knew carnations were the national flower of Spain (touched, and enlightened, as I am not sure he knew that before...) and Sailor Girl was touched because purple is her favourite colour.

6. Get to know your photographer. Obviously, we all don´t happen to have amazing photographer friends. I do, but if you don´t, meet with the photographer, take examples of things you like and don´t like, and make a list of photographs you´d like to have at the end of the day. If you and the groom are comfortable with the photographer, you´ll of course get better pictures.

7. Have lots of cake and eat it. We had cake after the service at the church (thanks Dad!). It was a great way for us to see people who were not coming to the reception. And then we had cake after dinner. Carrot cake, our favourite. Made by this amazing woman. People remember cake. This cake was so good I would fly back home for a slice.

8. Involve friends and family in the service. My Mom, Music Man, and Musica took care of the music. Why hire a soloist if your friend is extremely talented? Maybe your cousin plays the guitar, or the banjo, or your brother plays the ukulele. And Tall Guy´s school friend and Fairy God Sister read the scriptures, one in Spanish and one in English. We had a helpful, caring wedding party. And Tall Guy and I distributed the communion wine, none of which, miraculously, was spilt on my dress!

9. Eat something before the service. A wise woman I know suggested having a buffet available at home all morning to make sure everyone got something to eat before the service. This was a great idea - no one fainted. 




I´ve saved the best tip for last:

10. Savour it. This is the best piece of advice I received and the best I can give, and is also my word of the year. The day passed by quickly, but I was there in the moment the whole time, enjoying everything. A wedding is the start to a whole new chapter in life - a marriage. That´s something worth remembering.

credit: freedom photography

Checking out

The car is on its way to pick me up. My flight leaves at 12:40. Check out is at 10. It’s time to go. It’s time to leave London, and I’m a little bit sad.

Obviously I want to see Tall Guy. And of course I am excited about the wedding! And the honeymoon. And the new flat in Madrid. There are, in fact, a lot of things I’m looking forward to. But I will miss London, my second city.

It’s time to go, and I'm a little bit sad, but I think I’m ready. I’ve moved around enough to know that I hate leaving, and I've developed a technique to make it, if not easy, well, less difficult: I check out.

I’ve been checking out of London little by little over the past few weeks, saying goodbye to people and places, doing things “one last time". Oh, I know I’ll come back to visit, but it won’t be the same.

So I’ve gone to my favourite cafe for one last cappuccino. One last visit with Strathvegas. One last dinner with the girls. One last jog along the river and over Albert Bridge (my favourite). One last afternoon alone at the V&A.

And as I’ve been checking out of London, I’ve been checking in to Madrid. Breakfast date with Americana? In the diary. Lunch with Hilarious? Day one. A jog around Parque del Oueste? Of course! (With the dog? Not likely.) Choosing paint colours and looking at renovation plans for the kitchen? Can’t wait! Doing all of this in the sun and heat of summer? Yes please!

It’s still sad to go. But it’s exciting to think of what’s ahead.

Book bags

Nope, not a cute pattern for a DIY bag, or a link to a great sale, but a description of the type of bags that are under my eyes. Book bags: caused by lack of sleep by reading.
I’ve always been a bookworm, but these days, the light is coming into my room VERY early in the morning, so I'm awake earlier (British blackout curtains? Humbug. Spain has bat cave blinds. Maybe I should start a business...). Add to that the page-turner mystery series I’ve picked up, and I’ve been doing so much reading that book-boa seems more like it.

For those of you in London, Shoe Lane Library is having a book sale that goes until the end of the week. The deal? Fill a bag of books for 2.50. A BAG!!! For TWO –FIFTY!!! Burrito, Chippy and I went on Tuesday – a restrained 8 for me (I’m moving, remember?), a solid 18 for Chippy and a whopping 25 for Burrito! Don’t worry, we left some for you, and new stock comes out every day, complete with nice, library-issued dust jackets.

Now, back to the series  - Maisie Dobbs, by Jacqueline Winspear, and Thora Gudmunsdottir, by Yrsa Sigurdardottir. Yes, there are two!

Maisie - I happened upon book five shortly after we arrived in London, and I loved it, but somehow just didn’t get around to reading any others until now. My favourite (so far) is the third book, Pardonable Lies:

·         our heroine gets off the Tube at Holborn (where I work)
·         she moves to Pimlico (not far from me)
·         the mystery involves a barrister (I work with barristers)
·         it’s set in the 30s (I love art deco and 30s fashion)
·         AND it’s a well-written page-turner

I got hooked on the Thora series whilst in Iceland (you can check that trip out here, here, here, here and here), and I am currently reading Ashes to Dust:

·         it’s set in modern day Iceland (I love Iceland)

·         it’s gruesomely thrilling (the first one narrowly escaped a night in the freezer)

·         the heroine is very intelligent and likable (I love a good heroine)

·         the translator is good (or so I suspect. It still flows, and I like the style.)

Yes, I have a detective 'stache bookmark

Warning, Thora is not for the faint of heart. The faint of heart should stick with Maisie.
Although there are more in my stack, my next book will not be a mystery – I'm already peering over my shoulder suspiciously, jumping at sirens, and checking the stairwell at work for bodies...

The Day Formerly Known as Hump Day

Yes, Hump Day, the day we’re all yearning for every Monday morning, because it means “the weekend is almost here”, is now (and will be, until August 24) known as….
Wedding Wednesday!

This is the day of the week I've dedicated to getting wedding stuff done. I read hotel contracts. I think about ceremony music. I email bridesmaids. I work on seating charts. I order flowers. I buy cakes and eat them in lieu of attending cake testing sessions. Well, not really the cake thing. But it’s not a bad idea, and I bet Tall Guy would like doing that more than helping me stick hundreds of tiny pearls to our invitations…

Weddings, as I'm sure you know, take over your life. They make you crazy. You need to have lots of books, spread sheets, and ten special apps for your phone in order to get the job done, and you need to quit your day job. Monthly meltdowns are inevitable. Bridezilla fall outs with a least one bridesmaid because her eye colour doesn’t go with your theme and she won’t wear contacts are likely. If you’re not going crazy planning your wedding, you aren’t doing it right!

Or at least that’s the vibe that comes from most wedding TV shows, magazines and websites.

I bought that for a while:

I was worried because I didn’t burst into tears, crying, “this is it! This is the one!”, when I tried on “the dress”.

I was worried because I didn’t have a “theme” or know my “wedding colours” when I went bridesmaid dress shopping.

I was worried because we haven’t been taking West Coast Swing dancing lessons for the last year and a half in preparation of our first dance.

Then Erin, the lovely owner of Once Upon a Time Weddings, where I bought my dress, said something that will remain with me through all my wedding-planning days -  “You know, organized girls who don’t have break-downs don’t make for good reality TV”.

It’s true. I wouldn’t watch an hour-long show about me buying my dress:

Tall Mom: “Oh, how about that one?”
Me: “Ok” (I go put on the dress)
Tall Mom: “Oh, it’s lovely!”
Erin: “Yes, it really suits you!”
Me: “Yes, it does. It really is lovely.”
Erin: “What do you think? You should try on some more to compare, but this one looks great!”
Me: “Ok” (I try on more. They do not compare)
Me again: “I will think about this overnight” (I go home and think about it. And then I go back in the morning and buy the dress).

So now, instead of fretting, Tall Guy and I have committed to a stress-less wedding, and we're enjoying every minute of the planning. And while I definitely think about the wedding on other days of the week, and use a wedding-organizer book, and although we do have a couple of spread sheets (it wouldn't be a Tall Guy wedding without spread sheets), one day a week for doing things is enough.  

And the theme of my wedding? It's “wedding.” So, you know, love, commitment, family and friends sharing in our joy and people having a good time. If we want invitations with bears on them, and programmes with spaceships, and seashell chocolate favours, that's OK.

And the first dance? We’re practising the waltz in our living room, having a blast stepping on each other’s toes.