Yes, Hump Day, the day we’re all yearning for every Monday morning, because it means “the weekend is almost here”, is now (and will be, until August 24) known as….
This is the day of the week I've dedicated to getting wedding stuff done. I read hotel contracts. I think about ceremony music. I email bridesmaids. I work on seating charts. I order flowers. I buy cakes and eat them in lieu of attending cake testing sessions. Well, not really the cake thing. But it’s not a bad idea, and I bet Tall Guy would like doing that more than helping me stick hundreds of tiny pearls to our invitations…
Weddings, as I'm sure you know, take over your life. They make you crazy. You need to have lots of books, spread sheets, and ten special apps for your phone in order to get the job done, and you need to quit your day job. Monthly meltdowns are inevitable. Bridezilla fall outs with a least one bridesmaid because her eye colour doesn’t go with your theme and she won’t wear contacts are likely. If you’re not going crazy planning your wedding, you aren’t doing it right!
Or at least that’s the vibe that comes from most wedding TV shows, magazines and websites.
I bought that for a while:
I was worried because I didn’t burst into tears, crying, “this is it! This is the one!”, when I tried on “the dress”.
I was worried because I didn’t have a “theme” or know my “wedding colours” when I went bridesmaid dress shopping.
I was worried because we haven’t been taking West Coast Swing dancing lessons for the last year and a half in preparation of our first dance.
Then Erin, the lovely owner of Once Upon a Time Weddings, where I bought my dress, said something that will remain with me through all my wedding-planning days - “You know, organized girls who don’t have break-downs don’t make for good reality TV”.
It’s true. I wouldn’t watch an hour-long show about me buying my dress:
Tall Mom: “Oh, how about that one?”
Me: “Ok” (I go put on the dress)
Tall Mom: “Oh, it’s lovely!”
Erin: “Yes, it really suits you!”
Me: “Yes, it does. It really is lovely.”
Erin: “What do you think? You should try on some more to compare, but this one looks great!”
Me: “Ok” (I try on more. They do not compare)
Me again: “I will think about this overnight” (I go home and think about it. And then I go back in the morning and buy the dress).
So now, instead of fretting, Tall Guy and I have committed to a stress-less wedding, and we're enjoying every minute of the planning. And while I definitely think about the wedding on other days of the week, and use a wedding-organizer book, and although we do have a couple of spread sheets (it wouldn't be a Tall Guy wedding without spread sheets), one day a week for doing things is enough.
And the theme of my wedding? It's “wedding.” So, you know, love, commitment, family and friends sharing in our joy and people having a good time. If we want invitations with bears on them, and programmes with spaceships, and seashell chocolate favours, that's OK.
And the first dance? We’re practising the waltz in our living room, having a blast stepping on each other’s toes.