The First Day

Announcement time! It's the first week of September and normally I would be getting ready for the first day of school. Preparing a fun and welcoming reception day, decorating my classroom, organising books and lesson plans, choosing an outfit... But this year it's different. My maternity leave is over and I am officially on a leave of absence. I am so grateful to my boss, who is also a mother, for granting me this special time to spend with my son.

I'm excited about the year ahead, and also aware that it's going to take a major mindset shift to make the most of this time, to dig in and focus on our little family. Before having a baby, I was working full time, staying active, doing lots of hobbies, and getting ready for the baby. During maternity leave, we had a special week each with my mom and dad, a month in Canada, and three weeks of holidays with Tall Guy. It was all wonderful! Tall Guy went back to work today, and my Teeny Little Super Guy and I had the first "normal" day we've had in a long time.

Now it's time to fall into a different rhythm, to leave some room in the agenda, where Super Guy will be the number one thing, and maybe some days the only thing, on the to-do list. Today I did most of the house cleaning. I made three healthy meals. And I played with my son. We bounced around the living room and laughed. I watched him try to roll over. We read stories and rocked. We Skyped with family, and when Tall Guy got home, we walked to the park. A good first day, filled with love.

May Days

check it out!

Does time go by faster the better things get? It sure feels like it - in the blink of an eye, my Teeny Little Super Guy has grown nearly ten centimeters and gained two kilograms, and gone from being a cute and sleepy newborn to being cute and bright eyed. He even smiles! May was a great month, and despite spending hours and hours staring at Super Guy, I did some other stuff as well.

my first mother's day flowers

This month I've been reading magazines and baby books. There was a great interview with David Suzuki about climate change in Reader's Digest and some good picnic-type recipes in Chatelaine.

What's Going On In There? How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life by Dr Lise Eliot is a great companion to The Wonder Weeks. It more fully explains the "leap periods" babies and children experience. I feel I can better support Super Guy now that I have a better idea of the changes he's experiencing. For example, a few days ago his nap pattern changed - he seemed to be sleeping poorly in the day and only seemed happy in my arms. I whipped out the brain books, and sure enough, Super Guy was due to experience a "leap" and would soon be able to recognize patterns and separate his interpretation of sensory experiences. I let him be cuddly and brought out toys and activities to support this leap during our play times, and voila - much less stressful for both of us.

super guy freaking out at the pacifier

Not everyone likes to read, and that's okay - with The Wonder Weeks, you can purchase individual chapters for e-readers, or download the app that sends a message to indicate the likely onset of a leap period. 

I've also been putting the rocking chair to good use, reading to Super Guy every night before bed. We finished When We Were Very Young and are now into Winnie the Pooh, by A.A. Milne. I'm aware that he's only seven weeks old and doesn't understand all the words, but I do think he picks up on tone of voice and I like that we're carrying on with our reading routine, which I started when I was three months pregnant and his ears were just developing. It's a lovely, cozy time of day that I hope he will come to treasure as much as I do, for the books and our time together.  

I've been watching a lot more than reading this month - seasons five and six of Friends (my favorite episodes are part of these seasons, including leather pants, crazy running, pottery barn and the triplets). I watch an episode or two while David and I have breakfast and some down time (we get up early, he eats, we play, then he eats again and I have breakfast while he has a little nap).

I'm also nearly done the last season of Mad Men. It seems like things are in motion for some good wrapping up of various story lines. I hope so, because I'm in it for more than the fashion at this point. 

a beautiful rose in parque santander

Tall Guy and I watched Fargo, a very well-done miniseries related to the movie. There are lots of big-name actors, including Colin Hanks, who looks so much like Tom! Good writing, good acting, filmed in Calgary, so great scenery (go Canada!). Billy Boy Thornton was so creepy Tall Guy and I both did a little shiver when a guy with a similar haircut to his character passed us on the sidewalk. We're looking forward to the next season, which will also air in the format of a miniseries, with a whole new cast, thirty years before this season.

May was a big month for celebrations - two babies made their entrance (one was due the same day as Super Guy, and the other was due three weeks before), my brother, father, grandmother, and four friends had birthdays, there were two wedding anniversaries, and I celebrated Mother's Day twice, once on the Spanish date and once on the Canadian date, and my mom was even here for that one. Also, my brother and his fiancee will be moving back to Canada to go to teacher's college!

capturing super guy's hand and foot

I've been out and about with Super Guy quite a bit. It was great to have my mom here - we went out for lots of walks and even some shopping and a haircut (for me, for 99 cents, an opening special at an Oh My Cut! next door!). We went to Las Vistillas, a park I had never been to, for some live music during the San Isidro celebrations, and went on my favourite Madrid walk a few times (from our place to the palace, passing through Plaza Espana and Sabatini Gardens, returning through Parque del Oeste and the Templo de Debod). We ran errands, organized the nursery, and restocked the freezer.

I take Super Guy to Parque Santander a few times a week, sometimes just the two of us, sometimes with a friend. The water feature, complete with a wooden deck, provides a seaside simulation, complete with people tanning in swimsuits, that will do when you can't get to the actual sea. We've been sticking to the path through the gardens rather than running, and thousands of roses are in bloom and the lavender is about to come on. A feast for the eyes and nose. 

We made it to church twice this month, once with my mom for Mother's Day, and then today with a friend and her four-month old daughter. It was great to have three generations at the Mother's Day service, which focused on Julia Ward Howe and the original intent behind the holiday, and we sang a song she wrote, Battle Hymn of the Republic. As Canadians, we knew the song but had never sung it before. It's a song that makes me think of Elvis. 

the first balcony meal of the season

Lots of good eats during May - we went to El Barril on Andres Mellado, a very good tapas choice if you're in Madrid (and if you go later on at night, the fresh seafood is half price). Although it is well-known because of the fresh seafood, I highly recommend the roasted artichokes. They were amazing! Such a clean, springy flavour, light on the oil and a nice pinch of salt.

I met some friends for lunch at La Nicoletta, an Italian chain I'd been interested in trying for a while, since Tall Guy often mentions it (there is one near his work and they have a lunch menu). I had a truffle and mushroom pizza. It was enormous and tasty and I ate the whole thing.

a really good burger. i made it.

On the home front, my mom brought me some new recipes. I love the gluten free mug muffins (I am so boring, my favourite is the plain one), and she made a giant batch of giant meatballs (the sauce gets a taste boost from Bragg Liquid Aminos).

I tried a Chatelaine burger recipe that is going in the remake pile - you just shape nice, fresh ground beef into patties and sprinkle with salt. Easy and very tasty. 

really, who needs to make snacks when you can just have these?

We scarfed down a batch of the best gluten and sugar free brownies I have made to date, thank you, comfy belly. I followed the recipe, but mine turned out more cake-like than fudge-like, which I like better anyhow. I also read a review of someone who used date paste instead of honey. I bet that was good, too!

Finally, cherries are in season. Hooray!

That's a Wrap!

I have a confession to make. Almost every day I pretend I'm an animal. Can you guess which one? You might say a giraffe would be logical since I'm tall, or perhaps a bird because I really do love them, but both are incorrect. No, I dress up as a kangaroo. 

Well, not literally - but I do put my Teeny Little Super Guy in a baby wrap or carrier regularly, and since "baby wearing" is right up there with "we're pregnant" on my nay-say list, I call it kangarooing. It's more accurate anyway - I make a little pocket and pop Super Guy inside, and he rides along, cozy and comfortable.

me and my joey

Wrap up the goodness - Remember all the skin-to-skin talk in your parenting class? This is a variation on that (and hey, when it's hot, you can put Baby in a diaper and tie him on, using the wrap as a shirt). Super Guy can hear my heart, and I can feel him breathing. Even if I'm vacuuming, kangarooing is physical bonding time, and we both enjoy essential physical contact. After nearly nine months of hosting Super Guy, it's nice to approximate the closeness again. 

Choose an appropriate carrier... - I use the wrap when it's just the two of us, or I throw it in the stroller basket so Super Guy doesn't have to be lying down the whole time we're out for a walk. When it comes to hiking or longer excursions, a backpack carrier is more comfortable. 

...and a matching diaper bag - By that I don't mean colour or print! I'm talking form, because you don't want the bag to be bumping into Baby the whole time you're out. Best case scenario, someone else is carrying the diaper bag, but if you're on your own, pair wisely. When Super Guy is on my front like a little joey, I take this little back pack from 31 (in red, with a maple leaf and Super Guy's name on it!). When he's older and I take him on my back, I'll take a cross-body bag.

Try it out at home first... - I worked out how to tie the Moby wrap with a baby-sized teddy bear before Super Guy arrived. Then I tried it with him at home a few times. There's a lot of fabric to get tangled up in but it's really simple once you know what goes where. Same for backpack carriers - who wants to be fiddling with clips and straps when you're out and there's a real baby in there? If I'm planning on using the wrap when we're out and about (as a break from the stroller or if we go someplace in the car and don't take the stroller), I'll put it on at home so the ends don't drag on the ground and get dirty.

...but don't be afraid to go out! - The baby is not going to fall out. The extra weight will not make you tip over. You'll both be fine. In crowded places I tend to keep one hand on Super Guy, just so he doesn't get bumped. 

Be one with the sling - Obviously don't go riding a bike with a baby in the wrap, but you can definitely try some gentle exercise. This video and this video have some yoga moves that you can do with a baby in a wrap. 

Leave early - baby carriers are gaining popularity in Madrid but still are rare enough that people will stop to comment. Reactions range from mildly surprised to generally interested and once even horrified. I've had everything from people stopping and pointing from across the street to people coming right up and trying to pet him in there, to people thinking I was pregnant and making some weird fashion statement until his little hand popped out and surprised them.

Don't worry about your back - you've carried Baby around for nine months, and the right wrap will distribute the weight in a similar way. If you're letting someone else carry Baby, they might find a wrap is very comfortable, or they might like to try a sturdier backpack. Tall Guy prefers the Stokke carrier, and not just for fashion objections to my girly wrap/scarf. It is heavily reinforced along the wearer's spine and has lots of possibilities for making minute adjustments, not to mention the tiny little pockets, perfect for storing... who knows what? Tall Guy will probably put a tiny flashlight or something in one of them.

Change it up - One reason I love the wrap so much is that there are different ways for Super Guy to ride along in it. He's nearly too big for the "newborn hug hold", so soon I'll use a different hold - forward facing, back facing, on my back, or on my side. He can be lying down or even feeding. Certain backpacks permit different holds as well. This is important, as different positions are appropriate according to social as well as physical development. If Super Guy is feeling overwhelmed, I can hold him in such a way that he can hide his head.

Tie one on for some shuteye - Super Guy is a very good baby, but if he has a fussy moment, I can count on a walk using the wrap to calm him down and actually put him to sleep. 

So there you have it - now go get a wrap or a carrier and have some kangaroo time with your baby!

Overflow

He came into our lives one Friday night, twenty days earlier than expected, and we were blown away. 

"Um, I think the baby's coming..." I said to Tall Guy. 

"Are you sure? It's so early!?" 

"Well, I'm pretty sure... I don't think he's going to wait three more weeks..."

the first night

We didn't have all the furniture for the nursery. Our last parenting class was to be the next morning. We had a night out at a cool restaurant planned for my birthday. The scrapbook wasn't started, we only had two packages of diapers, and the freezer was only half-filled with prepared meals. 

But here he is, and we've found we can do without everything else. It wasn't on our time, but his timing was perfect:  

• We're thankful he waited until Spanish full-term (he was 37 weeks and two days), so we avoided a prolonged hospital stay. 
• We're thankful he waited until his daddy was home from a business trip (two hours after he got home I went into labour).
• We're thankful he waited until I was at the hospital with my doctor and midwife (he was born two hours after we signed in).

our hearts grew by way more than three sizes that day

from here

Even though he is a good baby (so calm and peaceful, and very cuddly), it's not always easy. We sleep less, eat faster or lukewarm meals, spend more time quelling irrational worries (well, I worry, Tall Guy quells). Somehow, we don't feel exhausted, we're not hungry, and the worries fade quickly. And there will be harder days and tough moments, and times we think we're messing everything up, but we'll get through. I'm convinced it's because we're fueled by love. 

How can one tiny person bring forth so much love, so much joy, so immediately? It's true, what parents say - it's a love like no other, a love so deep and steadfast we never thought it possible, a love that brings new meaning to our lives.We knew we would love him, but our hearts are absolutely overflowing.

April Roundup

My latest post is from Friday, April 10th. For some reason that day I felt I needed to get it done, otherwise I wouldn't. A pricking in my thumbs, mother's intuition, call it what you will - that night my precious star was born, and I haven't been on here since then. I've been changing diapers (about 158 so far), cuddling, singing, taking pictures, napping, crying happy tears, and just enjoying being a mom. April is my birthday month, and now it's also my son's birthday month - extra special!

going to church

After a bit of a hiatus on the linkup, I'm back with Leigh to share what I've been into this month (a heads up - it's mostly baby-related):

Reading: I reread my Hypnobirthing book. It's so calming, and I found it helped me stay relaxed and focused during pregnancy as well as birth, helping me to see the process for what it is - a natural, normal, albeit amazing part of life. It was a good tool for helping me stay calm and open minded during the actual birth (more about that later).

Bringing Up Bebe, by Pamela Drukerman. This was a gift from a friend, and a great read for during Baby's first days at home. Ms Drukerman is an American living in France, and her observations about French parenting are useful and in line with my style, An example - there is no separation between "kid food" and "adult food". Kids should be allowed and encouraged to enjoy lots of flavours from childhood. Some ring true for Spain, such as snacks are for snack time, and snack time happens once a day. If you eat properly at meal times, there is no need to have a bag of squashed cereal floating around in your purse or diaper bag (phew! I hate crumbs). Her comparisons of French and American parenting styles are often humorous, and anecdotes aren't long or rambling, an easy book to pick up for a few minutes here and there when I had time/was awake.

What to Expect in the First Year. Given to me by the same friend, this is a nice book to reference, with lots of lists and good information to use as starting place. I also just like reading about babies, and found this one kind of fun just for that.

Eat, Pray, Love. Elizabeth Gilbert. A reread, but I do love me some armchair travel! I love Italy, and India is on Tall Guy's and my to-visit list. Indonesia's relaxed pace and reverence for children is extremely appealing (what, babies are carried until they're a year old? And it's socially acceptable? I could totally go for that; I never want to put my little one down!). 

Chatelaine and Reader's Digest. Thank goodness for magazines! It's great to start and finish something in one sitting. I have a stockpile of RD which I had been saving for during labour (reading light, funny articles is supposed to be relaxing), but it was over so quickly there wasn't time. As for Chatelaine, can I just say that the weekly grocery shop and meal planner is fabulous, especially at this stage of our lives? 

Be Family to Your Friends, a lovely post by Fiona Lynn that will ring true for anyone living abroad, but especially resonated with me this month.

Going: There were lots of changes in this month's schedule thanks to our early arrival - all of them worth it. 

fragrant lilacs in the park

During Easter holidays, we went to "de billidge" (the village, specially to Tall Guy's family farm) and went on a few lovely day trips, which you can read about here.

My next big excursion  (big as in life-changing, not far or exotic) was to the hospital! In Spain, mothers and babies stay for 48 hours after birth. Since that would have brought us to a Sunday, we stayed an extra day (no discharges on Sundays). They don't call babies bundles of joy for nothing - I am so in love! And the hospital stay was very positive - my doctor and midwife were of course on hand (one or both of them checked in on us every day), and the nursing staff were lovely. There was a sofa bed in my room for Tall Guy, and of course we had our newest family member to keep us company.

Since our homecoming, our trips have been mainly to Parque Santander here in Madrid, where until only a few weeks ago I was running on the track. I had no idea that around the outer edge of the track, there is a beautifully landscaped walking path! Lots of fragrant, colourful plants and flowers, benches to sit down, water fountains, and even a cafe. 

We did get to church on my birthday, and also out for lunch. We went to Sagaretxe, a pincho bar in Madrid. Pinchos are rounds of baguette with different toppings, and also great baby food. Not for the baby, of course, but when you have one - they're already made, so you just pick the ones you want from the bar, and you can eat them with one hand.

pinchos. my favourites are brie and jam, and baby eel and pepper.

We also went out for hamburgers one night at New York Burger. A good burger, but really slow service. REALLY slow. So slow, Baby ate twice before we ate once. And while it was a good burger, it wasn't better than The Good Burger, which is faster and has frozen yogurt for dessert, so...

Eating: I really didn't feel the need to "eat for two" during my pregnancy. I ate enough (okay, probably more than enough!) but my appetite was nowhere near as voracious as it is now that I am feeding my Plus One as well as myself. I am a bottomless pit! Thank goodness for a fully-stocked freezer (and the bakery downstairs...).

vanilla cake with berry jam filling

Maybe because of his early arrival, but a true, strong nesting instinct didn't kick in until AFTER baby. I made lasagna and vanilla cake (May's Chatelaine) for a triple birthday lunch (me, my mother in law, and baby!). I made a giant meatloaf just because, and mashed potatoes and peas to accompany. I also made lactation cookies from bellybelly. It turns out I'm a regular ewe for my little lamb and don't really need them, but the coconut flour adaptation sure is yummy, and the extra help certainly can't hurt.

i made two - one for the freezer!

For breakfast these days a smoothie alone just doesn't cut it. I've been making steel-cut oats with different toppings. Tall Guy's favourite is pear, cranberry and almond, and I'm a little bit boring, with raisins and a little bit of milk.

Thankful for: With my own family far away, and not visiting until next week (the idea was that hopefully I would have given birth by then!), I am so thankful for my friends and Spanish family, especially my Spanish Madre - my host mother from when I was here on exchange as a teenager came to the hospital the night Baby was born to check on me. She came to see us every day while I was in hospital, and has been popping by with afternoon snacks and for walks ever since. 

love.

"I know you have your husband and in-laws, but it's not the same," she said, "I'm here as your family." 

She has known me for nearly 14 years, from when I could barely string together a sentence in Spanish and would blush beet red with embarrassment when I had to give anyone "dos besos".

I'm also thankful for Skype, for being able to connect with my family and friends back home and in other lands, to share with them the joy that is my son. Even my grandma has seen him, thanks to a cousin and her iPad.

My church family has been carrying us along in their prayers during the whole pregnancy, and continue to do so now. Another language wouldn't stop me, but I am thankful to have an English-speaking church.

Winter Wrap-up

Well, I missed February (too short a month which flew by even more quickly than usual, thanks to something fun every day), and now March is nearly over, too, and here I am, once again recapping a couple of months. Officially, it's spring, and this week I can definitely feel it in the air in Madrid. It's sunny, warm, flowers are blooming, birds are singing, and the wind is fresh but not cold (it also no longer smells like snow - something I'm willing to give up in favour of the longer days).

To help pass the dark days of winter in a positive mood, I booked in some fun every day in February. Spending hours on the phone, cooking, trying new restaurants, enjoying a new book and a relaxing bath, catching up with friends, and starting to shop for Baby, it was a great month.

March was good, but things got trickier - Baby and I are growing and I'm pretty tired, I can't do all of my usual activities, new pregnancy symptoms have appeared, and work was full.

Here's what went down during the last days of winter:

Reading: The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. This one's been on my radar for a while, so when Tall Guy brought it home from a business trip to England, I was delighted. I'm nearly done this giant book and I've enjoyed the ride. A crime story of sorts, fueled by tragedy, told through the eyes of a survivor as he grows from a teenager to an adult. Art, New York City, and relationships are themes. I will say I can't take too much at once - partly because no matter what I read these days, I tend to fall asleep, and partly because it's kind of tragic. 

Goodnight Moon: Baby and I got this book as a gift from a friend. I love the rhythm of this classic children's bedtime story and have already read it to Baby a number of times. We're also reading through my Beatrix Potter collection. I'm having fun rediscovering old favourites and I'll get to enjoy them again when I read them to Baby in person.

Ghosts of Spain: Travels through Spain and its Silent Past by Giles Tremett. A reread, perfect to brush up on Spanish history. It's got a definite left-wing slant, but is not so biased that one cannot consider it as a serious attempt at recounting Spain's messy past. I like books that touch on the mess, because getting anyone to talk about it is harder than squeezing water from a rock. Even in schools, the civil war is not a topic that is openly discussed or debated in any meaningful amount of detail. 

I guess I was on the G-Train with books...

Working: As of today, I am officially on leave from work! It feels amazing. There were a few times when I thought I wouldn't make it to my goal of finishing the term (a nice transition - I wrap up one term, and my cover starts the next), but with the help of supportive colleagues and a boss who encourages naps, I did it!

Our class had a great field trip to an educational farm, where capable group leaders whisked away the children and the teachers convened in the farmhouse (there was even a fireplace) for a morning coffee break. Then we wandered around the farm and caught the kids' delight on camera to share with their parents. They got to pet and hold a lot of animals, and even went for a little pony ride.

I finished report cards and parent-teacher interviews, and I had three solid handover days with my cover. This is more exhausting than it sounds - introductions, going over class plans, students' personalities, classroom and school routines, answering questions, wondering if I've forgotten to mention anything vital in my handover notes... Anyway, she is a lovely teacher and I feel good about leaving my class in her hands.

Doing: Many people have suggested going to the movies as much as possible, because I "won't be able to go" when Baby is here. Well, those people have obviously never been pregnant (who wants to go to the movies when they have to get up every 20 minutes to pee in a gross public restroom?) and have obviously not met any of the awesome moms I've met who arrange stroller-friendly matinees. I'd much rather catch a series or watch and old favourite film at home when I can pause to sleep, pee or eat at will, thank you very much! 

That said, I have been doing a lot of lasts (until Baby is here):

In February, we went for a hike in the mountains to enjoy the snow for a day. I had been hoping to get in a few more hikes, but Tall Guy felt nervous and the doctor agreed - nothing too strenuous or remote until Baby is here. That's alright, still lots to see and do outside, even if I do like a good hike. I've got a list of hidden, out of the way parks and gardens in Madrid to check out this spring.

I went to my last yoga class. I didn't know it would be the last, but then I got sick (a cold, fever and gastroenteritis all at once. Fun.) and lost some weight and energy. Treatment is of course a bland diet and rest. I'll do some gentle yoga at home on my own once I get the green light from the doc.

Easter break, which did spill into April, was our last trip to the farm. Tall Guy wants me nice and close to home, and I don't want any more long rides in the car. Lots to come soon about our lovely Easter holiday.

As I mentioned, the biggest last was my last day of work. I'd thought I'd be sadder, or feel more nostalgic, but by the time 5pm rolled around on my last day, I couldn't get out fast enough! All thoughts of missing my students have been eclipsed by baby excitement.

I'm also lucky to have had friends come over for visits. I like having people over, and I so appreciate being able to catch up while I'm comfortable at home. It's also been fun to ooo and ahh over the tiny baby things I have ready in the nursery.

And there you have it - two months in one post.

Mum Abroad 8: The Urge to Splurge

Tiny shoes, tiny pajamas, tiny sweaters, tiny pairs of jeans - baby things are cute, and we haven't even gotten to the books, toys and paraphernalia for sale, not to mention the guilt-tripping advertising techniques - You need these CDs or your baby will never appreciate art! You must get this brand of bottle sterilizer or the baby will get leprosy! If you don't buy this special soft toy, the baby will feel neglected and won't be able to bond properly!

Like any specialty marketing (flashback to the wedding!), sellers take advantage of perceived need, the buyer's lack of knowledge and experience with the products, and the fairly short timeline, jacking up prices (why do tiny socks and sweaters cost the same as adult socks and jackets, or sometimes more? Pretty sure elves and fairies didn't make them, so what's with the premium?). It can get so expensive so fast, and it's just not necessary. I want our pre-baby time to be positive, filled with fun planning for baby, not worrying about the bill. I'd rather have extra cash to travel and do things when Baby is here.

On the other hand, babies do need some special, specific things. I want to be prepared, and of course it's fun to shop for Baby, so the trick is finding the Baby Bear Balance - not too much, not too little, but just right. And just how are we doing that? By making smart decisions. Here are my top five tips for spreading your euro/dollar/dough/ the farthest: 


Make a List, Check it Twice

First of all, I made a list of baby things - dream items, necessary items, and things I didn't know too much about. Then I read a bunch of mom blogs and parenting books (here's my favourite list, a little extreme, but it does prove a point) and went through my list again, taking off things we don't need at all and prioritizing what we do want to get with a timeline of when we need it. We did get a crib ahead of time, although Baby will be sleeping next to us at first, to avoid the hassle of picking it up and putting it together later on (we don't want to be those people who make Baby suffer through a three hour trip to Ikea). We're holding off on a high chair and umbrella stroller until we need them, and we're not getting a toddler-sized bed at all, since we already have a single bed that will work perfectly after Baby outgrows the bassinet and crib. In fact, it's in Baby's room right now, a place to crash during particularly fussy nights. 

tall guy's bassinet, recovered. i can't believe he used to fit in here!

Sentimental Value

My mom gave me a few special receiving blankets, outfits, books, and toys from when I was a baby. While it's nice to have new things, it's nice to have a few things that were special to me in the past to share with my own baby. We also have some of Tall Guy's special toys and clothes. It's nice to be able to pass on some memories.

Just don't feel pressured to use older things - an old crib might not meet today's safety standards, or maybe there's an outfit you really don't like. That's okay - it's your baby.

some of my childhood toys for baby

Go for Seconds

With the ongoing economic crisis, Spaniards are becoming more open to second-hand shopping. Still, there are not a lot of shops around, so the best bet is to check online (sites such as segundamando.es are good). There are several Facebook groups of mums in Madrid that focus on baby and child items, and I've managed to get a lot of things second-hand through them. Easy on the pocketbook and the environment, as well as more practical, since many things will only be used a few times! It has also been a great way to connect with other mums in the city – I have met some truly lovely women. My Facebook groups are:

• Mama Trato Madrid - a Spanish group dedicated to buying, selling, trading and sometimes just giving away baby and childhood items in the Madrid area
• Mom and Baby Madrid - buying/selling, but also classes, meetups and other special events, mainly for foreigners living in the city
• Girl Gone International Madrid - a group for foreign women living in Madrid, not focused on babies or parenthood but still some buying/selling, mostly furniture, and special events

Renew and Reuse

Hand in hand with sentimental value and second-hand shopping, updating and reusing things is a great way to cut down on costs. Older, second-hand items don't have to look dated or conflict with your taste. We had Tall Guy's bassinet recovered in a fabric we both like, and we had matching cushions made for his Grandmother's rocking chair. The fabric was on sale for 4 euro a meter (Madrid people, check out Calle Pontejos near Plaza del Sol and Plaza Mayor for great fabric and notions shops) and updating both items cost way less than purchasing new. We also didn't even see any new rocking chairs that a) we liked or b) had backs high enough for our heads, so this was the best as well as most sentimental way to go.

a new crib and bookshelf, an old rocking chair and blanket

Do the Research

Tall Guy loves technology, and a good baby monitor was important to him. He compared brands and researched price points for quite some time before we finally made the purchase (we went with a D-link DCS 942L, not specific for babies, but it has all the features Tall Guy deemed important, including remote monitoring from a mobile device and voice command).

This is true for all of our big purchases - we looked around a lot, read heaps of reviews (sometimes frustrating, because it's easy to get sucked in to wanting things "right now!") and made sure to get the products that suited us best at the best price we could find, taking into account warranties and delivery fees (as always, the cheapest advertised price is not necessarily the best deal). The bigger the ticket on the item, the more research we did. 

The best example of research paying off is our stroller. My mom suggested starting early (we went in October!), and we soon realized we had a problem - Tall Guy and I are, well, tall, and many strollers are too short for us! On the first day of looking, we came across the stroller with, supposedly, the tallest push bar on the market. We checked out a lot of models, brands, and reviews, and it's true! Even within the brand (Jane), our model is the tallest. It's cute, good quality, Spanish-made, and we won't ruin our backs or trip over the axles while using it. Who would ever have guessed that a Spanish stroller would have the tallest push bar? Research. Do it!

Not Your Average Joe

st joseph and the christ child, el greco

March 19th. The Feast of Saint Joseph. A man mentioned only a handful of times in the Bible, and who, in many places, is forgetten about until Christmas. Somehow he has escaped falling into obscurity, and is known to be humble, obedient, and caring. He stood by Mary, his pregnant fiancee, never doubting (or at least, never voicing his doubts) that she was to become the Holy Mother of Jesus, providing for her, Jesus and the rest of their offspring, protecting them from harm, following divine instruction to keep them all safe. Joseph was not your average Joe, but a righteous man. A good father. A role model for fathers everywhere.

Fitting then, that here in Spain, Saint Joseph's Day is Father's Day (and, I learned, he also happens to be one of Catholic Canada's patron saints). We've spent the last few art sessions at school making bookmarks and learning a song for fathers or grandfathers, and today is a national holiday. Gifts are given, meals are shared, and time is spent honouring Dad. 

Although Spain is technically a secular state, I like that many holidays here are steeped in tradition rather than being set on arbitrary dates. For me, it adds solemnity, a certain weight, to the celebrations, making it more difficult to scoff at days like these as being just occasions of Hallmark Consumerism, rather than days of intentional focus and reflection, of purposefully demonstrating love and appreciation. 

Today holds special meaning for Tall Guy and me this year as we'll soon be parents. It's a time for him to consider what his new role as Father means for us as a family, and for me to express love and gratitude for how he has been caring for Baby and me during the past months. While we're not having a huge celebration (Baby isn't here quite yet!), we are going a parenting class with our midwife and tonight we're going out for dinner, a kind of Father's Day Warm-up.  

Tall Guy doesn't have much experience with children (what do you mean babies can't hold up their own heads?) but I have no doubt that he will become an excellent father. He might not have a divine line on which angels call and give him parenting advice, but he is humble and trusts my judgement and experience, knowing we both have a lot to learn on this journey and trusting that we'll work it out together. He is supportive and caring, attending all kinds of appointments and classes, listening to my concerns and telling me he knows I will be a good mother. While I read and talk to Baby, and obviously have a more physical connection, he's getting things ready and bonding in his own way, from finding the best monitor and installing safety devices to researching the best diaper brands and making sure the fridge is full. 

We're marking the start of a new tradition (Father's Day in Canada is on the third Sunday of June; this is our first child) and I look forward to celebrating Tall Guy as he grows into fatherhood during the years to come. 

Mum Abroad 7: The Natural-natural Beauty

Pregnancy. Glowing skin, or nausea-induced shine? Rosy cheeks or acne's revenge? Thick, shiny hair or dry, unmanageable mane?

All of the hormonal changes that are taking place, sometimes feeling pretty "blah", plus wanting to avoid anything potentially toxic for the baby, mean a beauty routine makeover. Here I've rounded up my top ten favourite beauty rituals for pregnancy which you can try for yourself, whether or not you're waiting for Baby.

1) A soak in the tub Cleopatra would envy

i love our tub!

We recently renovated our apartment, and one thing I insisted on was a bathtub. We had a tiny one, painted over in wall paint which would stick to your feet after a hot shower, and I didn't use it as a tub (did I mention it was tiny and painted with inappropriate paint for bathing?), so why I was bent on installing a new one was baffling to Tall Guy. We put in a huge one as far as apartments go, and he gets it now, although I have first dibs on using it (a pregnancy perk). Epsom or sea salts are always great, but my current pampering combination is milk, honey and lavender. Before hopping in, I start with a nice dry brushing, great for circulation and sloughing away dry skin. Ahhhhh, I'm feeling lovely and relaxed just thinking about it. Soft skin, a relaxed mind, a relaxed body, and a relaxed baby.

You can use any kind of milk - I've got a jar of milk powder in the bathroom, but dairy-free alternatives also work well. Almond milk smells great, and coconut milk will give you an extra moisture boost. 

2) I say soap, you say...soup?


I can't overstate how great Jaydancin soaps are. Lavender for relaxing, lemongrass for a zesty morning shower, and oatmeal to sooth a sensitive face. Tons of other kinds, but those are my favourites. Good news - they're also safe for Baby. Bad news - I have to stalk up when I'm in Canada, thanks to a bad experience with Spanish customs - an official mistranslated "soap" as "sopa", which means "soup". Now, who would mail a box full of soup across the ocean, or anywhere, really, is beyond me, but the false friend translation meant my package got held up at customs and I got called in to do some explaining and pay a hefty fine (which was waved once everyone was satisfied there was indeed no soup in there...).

3) Butter is better, and not just on toast!

A combo of shea butter, coconut oil, and a few drops of essential oil has been keeping my skin hydrated during this dry, dry winter. According to research, genetics is the deciding factor in the stretch mark department, but so far I'm free of those, and this all-natural mix can only be helping.

4) Buff Stuff

my favourite, from the body shop

My nail buffer is my best friend. I can keep my nails looking nice without running the risk of picking up an infection in a nail salon or absorbing damaging chemicals. This was more important during the first trimester - lots of things happening in the baby's brain then! - and a better safe than sorry decision, but it also saved me a lot of time, and let's face it, pregnancy can be tiring and there's a lot of stuff that needs doing. Buffed nails look polished and there's no need for touch ups.

5) Best foot forward

No foot massages, doctor's orders, unless it's someone who can avoid reflexology points that could trigger an early arrival. Yikes! I take care of my feet at home - a soak in Epsom salts and warm water not only keeps swelling at bay, but is a way for the body to absorb magnesium, which helps prevent leg cramps. A nice scrub, a gentle massage with sesame seed oil, pop on some socks and zzzzz.....

In Spain, it seems Epsom Salts are more popular for digestive issues than muscle soaks, often found in very small packages. However, you can get Epsom Salts (Sales de Epsom) for about 5 euro for a kilogram bucket at Drogueria Manuel Riesgo (online or in Madrid, calle Desengano 2). 

6) A farmaceutical intervention



My face went crazy in the first trimester. Acne (thanks, hormones) and dry, dirty air (thanks, Madrid) meant a lot of redness that nothing would clear up except Fresh Farmacy soap from Lush. Good stuff, that, and not a lot of junk on the ingredients list.

7) Stand Tall

This one's easy, free, and it's good for you even if you're not pregnant. Good posture means looking more confident, clothes falling properly, space for Baby and being proud of your height, whatever it may be.

8) Face Time

I stick to a pretty simple makeup routine - for work, a really good moisturizer. For a fancier look, I've been working on keeping it simple and fast, practice for when Baby's here. A mineral powder foundation, blush, mascara, and some colour on the eyes. I have a "look book" for easy reference and inspiration, a collection of looks I like that I've collected from magazines,

9) Taming the Mane

My skin doesn't like the dry climate, and neither does my hair. I also haven't experienced the pregnancy luscious locks, either. Enter, argan oil. I first learned about this "liquid gold" a few years ago in Morocco, and now I am a fan. Wash, spritz on a little oil, and dry and style as usual.

10) Come on, dude, I'm exhausted, and Tyra Banks says the most important item in your makeup bag is a good night's sleep!

I love that quote from Raj in The Big Bang Theory. It cracks me up, and it's never been truer. When I sleep well I wake up fresh-faced and ready to go. My smile comes more easily, I feel more positive, and there's a bounce in my step.  

If you've got a home beauty ritual that you love, please share!

The Cantonese-Meatball Datenight Combination

I'm 13 for 13 in Fun February. It's hard to believe we're halfway through the month! On Tuesday my to-do list was quite long, so I scheduled in some vegging out time as a reward, catching the latest episodes of The Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Modern Family. On Wednesday, the fun was culinary - I made pizza for dinner. My favourite crust recipes can be found here. For toppings, I went with chicken, red onion and mushrooms. Yummy! And yesterday after work I had a friend over for tea. We both agreed it was great to have an at-home visit (Spaniards usually meet at a bar or cafe) and we plan on visiting more at each other's homes.

Today's fun was date night organized by Tall Guy - a trip to Ikea to pick up some furniture for Baby's room, followed by dinner at Royal Cantonese. We had a good time at Ikea - it wasn't too busy, we knew exactly what we were looking for, and we were on a timeline to get to dinner. Everything we wanted was in stock (I checked before, but we still ended up with the last bookcase!) and the checkout line wasn't very long. 

Baby's crib - safe and sweet

Next, we headed to Royal Cantonese, an out-of-the-way restaurant Tall Guy scouted out. It's well-known among Madrid's Chinese residents as having some of the best, most authentic Cantonese food in the city. Other patrons include famous Spanish actors, and even the old king's sister. A fun, low-key atmosphere, friendly service and good food made for a nice dinner out, worth the trek to Usera.

Royal Cantonese, Calle Olvido 29, Madrid

The menu was a mix of things we recognized (shrimp dumplings, Peking duck, Singapore Noodles) and things we weren't sure of (jellyfish salad, roasted tripe). Our waitress made some excellent suggestions - new things, but not too strange, since Baby doesn't seem to enjoy overly exotic flavours. My favourite dishes were scallops and rice noodles on the shell, a very flavourful meat and vegetable dumpling, the roast duck, and dessert - homemade egg custard tarts.