Four – Signs in the Night, A Play in One Act

(The one where two Tall People feel a little stupid whilst trying to decipher German parking signs)

A tall couple is watching TV before bed. They are in their pyjamas.
Tall Guy: Do you think the car will be fine where it is?

Tall Girl: Probably, but maybe we should double-check those signs.

Tall Guy: Well, we’ll have to get dressed... there were a lot of signs though...

Tall Girl: Get dressed? Why? Haven’t you ever worn your pyjamas outside before? I do think we should check, just to be on the safe side.

Tall Guy: I know. I’d hate to wake up to find the car had been towed, or ticked...
(He pauses thoughtfully, considering the notion of going outside in his pyjamas.)
Our street is quiet, and it’s dark anyway...

Tall Girl: Plus, we don’t know anyone here, and who cares if people see us in PJs anyway?
 The Tall Guy looks puzzled, so the Tall Girl explains that PJs means pyjamas. They put on coats and walk down the stairs, out of the building and onto the street. All is quiet.

Tall Girl: (doubtfully) Other cars are parked there, but I really don’t know if they should be... does this sign mean no parking on either side of the street ever, or just on weekdays from 8 till 6?

Tall Guy: I really have no idea. I’m going to walk to the end of the street and look at all of the signs.

Tall Girl: Ok... (They walk to the corner.) Does that one mean no parking on the left only? Can you park on the right?

Tall Guy: I don’t know! I think it’s supposed to be pointing ahead, not to the side...
(A man walks by, staring at the couple. The Tall Guy makes a move as if to ask him for help, but then he remembers he is in his PJs, and he stops abruptly.)

Tall Girl: Oh... then maybe this next one is pointing back, and you can’t park on the right side at all, ever.

Tall Guy: And the next two mean... no parking on weekdays on the left, and no parking, ever, on the right, I think.

Tall Girl: What about the next ones? Is that pointing up or down the street?

Tall Guy: I have never seen so many signs in such a short distance!
(They hear a noise, pause and look around. A smartly dressed woman exits a building, sees the couple, and walks off briskly into the night. The Tall Guy considers his attire again.)
We should have gotten dressed...

Tall Girl: We’re FINE. And I think the car will be fine, too, if we just move it back a bit...

Tall Guy: Yes, to just before that sign there. I don’t see any signs indicating anything about that part of the street.
(They walk to the car, get it, and drive in reverse up the street to the parking spot.)
Ok, I think here is fine.

Tall Girl: Yes, I think so too.

They stand there for a moment, looking at the car, and then up at the signs. Then, they cross the street and enter their building, climb up the stairs to their flat and go to bed. The lights dim and then come on again, showing the street the next morning, where the car is still in its spot and there is no ticket on it.