Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Tall Girl Teaches: Poker Face

Teaching. It's not all fun and games, nor is it all text books, exams and scolding. Sometimes you wonder why you do it. Others, it's... well, it's hilarious, and pretty hard not to laugh. Today was a long day. It started out well (too well?) but went downhill from there, ending with, "TEACHER! David put his finger to my a$$!" Lovely. To top it off, I wasn't feeling very well. So I spent a few minutes remembering some funny moments to cheer me up:
   TG: What did you do on the weekend?
(students raise their hands, one kid waving madly, so I pick him so he doesn't explode)
S: I went to the hospital
   TG: Oh no, were you ill?
S: No, I went to visit my cousin.
   TG: Was your cousin ill?
S: No, he... came alive!
(I bet the doctors were glad he came alive...) 
When I showed them a picture of the dog... 
S: Is it... your cow?
   TG: No, it's my dog.
S: Really? (The student here is 9...)
I showed them some pictures about me and they had to guess what they meant:
     S1: I know! It's the age of a boy you got in love with!
TG: No....
     S2: The year you were born?
TG: Ah, really no... (and you're going to fail English, by the way)

When we taking up answers to a  Lion King listening activity.
     TG: Who is Simba's uncle?
S: Scarf! But he's not wearing one!
     (No matter how much I insist otherwise, they are sure his name is Scarf...)

Another picture about me...
               S1: The girl is you, and the boy is your hamster.
S2: No, no! It's her handsome!
(We'll go with Student Number 2...)

and another picture about me...
(class bursts out laughing)
S: That's where I read...
TG: Too much information!! The right answer is... I like reading!

When I brought in some things from around the house to work on is/are
TG: What is this?
S: It is tiny picture!
TG: Ok... who is the picture of?
S: (Wildly waving his hand) Your dad!
TG: No honey, that's the King of Spain...
S: Uh, I don't think so...
(well, you'll pass English, but maybe not Spanish!)

So store up your anecdotes, but not for dinner parties. Store them up for yourself, for when the kids just won't be quiet, or when you're explaining something for the umpteenth time, or that really crazy one puts a pencil up his nose. They'll help you remember why you love it.

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