On loss.

My silver lining is

I loved you with abandon.
You filled me with joy
for a sweet, too short time.
Oh so very wanted child, I cared for you
like
Your life depended on it
and I didn't stop when I couldn't
make you better.
There was nothing I could do,
They said,
to fix you.
And nothing I had done,
Baby of mine,
had harmed you.

At least there's that.

And now, my little love.
And now, what is there to do
but keep on keeping on?
For anything else, pausing
for a moment
too long
would break me.

This is not to say that I forget-
Oh no, my precious darling,
Though I will never hold you
(in this life)
Though I'll never see you smile
or hear you say
Mama
or even look at your face
(I prayed for your miracle,
but life is a mystery and it wasn't
meant to be)
Oh my Dear, Dear Heart,
I remember, and I love you still
with abandon.